


Crash

by 1treehill



Category: Mindhunter (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst, Car Accidents, Hurt/Comfort, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-26
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2019-05-14 02:51:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14761199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1treehill/pseuds/1treehill
Summary: Bill Tench is having a rough day and it gets worse when he and Holden get into a bad car accident. They seem unscathed, but is Holden really okay?





	1. Bad Day

Bill Tench was feeling particularly out of sorts as he left the prison in Richmond, Virginia. To be honest, he had been irritable even before, and his antagonistic behavior during the interview with serial rapist and killer Monte Rissell stemmed from his inner turmoil.

Sometimes he didn’t know exactly why he was doing what he was doing. Well, he knew intellectually that the idea behind the interviews was fairly sound, even if he wasn’t as passionate about it as his young colleague Holden clearly was. But sitting in a dank and squalid prison room with an arrogant and unrepentant piece of shit like Rissell while his fellow prisoners shouted obscenities from their cells, Bill wondered if it was all worth the bother.

And Rissell’s attitude towards his innocent victims made him sick. Even Holden seemed put off, especially when the killer compared his compulsion to murder to a sneeze. But still, Holden’s primary attitude seemed to be one of fascination. Bill just felt disgust, and normally he could hide his feelings better. Today was clearly not a normal day for Bill.

As the two agents got into their car outside the prison facility, Bill could almost feel Holden gearing up to lecture him about angering Rissell and forcing a premature end to the interview. When Holden started to speak about the situation, Bill quickly shut him up.

Bill and Holden were discussing Rissell when the Pinto came seemingly out of nowhere and, as Bill watched in stunned horror, slammed directly into Holden’s side of the car. He felt the car spin and his body being thrown around the interior. It felt like he was in a blender. He watched his partner being flung around as well, and then suddenly everything was still.

Bill felt the disorientation turning into shock, and then quickly to concern for Holden. The young man looked completely stunned, blinking slowly and sitting stiffly next to the crumpled door.

“Are you okay?” Bill asked Holden, who simply nodded slowly in response. Relieved of his main concern, Bill felt suddenly filled with rage at the other driver. He got out of the car, ignoring sore and stiff muscles, and began shouting at the Pinto’s driver. Bill’s anger, which had been building throughout the day, poured out as he argued with the man, who was not backing down. 

After shouting some threats, Bill realized that Holden still had not moved from his seat in the damaged car. Concerned, Bill walked over to the window and checked on Holden again, who still appeared shaken almost beyond words.

Soon after, uniformed police arrived, and the busywork of explaining and reporting the accident occupied BIll’s thoughts. Holden gave his statement as well, and Bill was relieved to notice that the kid seemed okay. The car was towed away, and the two men walked to a nearby bar to get some lunch and something strong to calm Bill’s nerves.

Bill ordered a drink for Holden as well, though not nearly as much filled his partner’s glass. An odd conversation occupied their lunch break, with Bill attempting to unburden himself a bit, sharing a few stories about his difficult home life. When Holden responded with confused concern, Bill decided to let it go and focus on simple tasks like eating and drinking.

Holden had asked Debbie to pick them up in the morning, but the more Bill thought about it, the more he felt hesitant to make the young woman drive all the way out just to retrieve them. And a bit uncomfortable about the idea of the drive back with both Holden and Debbie.

“Holden, I think we should just get a taxi to a rental agency and rent a car. Let’s give Debbie a break,” Bill informed his partner.

“You think so?” Holden responded. “That might be a good idea. Debbie didn’t seem all that happy about coming out, even tomorrow.”

Bill said, “Yeah, if the Bureau won’t spring for it, it’ll be my treat. But I think I’ll let you drive us home, if you don’t mind.”

“Sure, Bill. Are we still finding a motel tonight though? Frankly, I wouldn’t mind, if I’m gonna be driving. I’m beat, and I’ve got a huge headache.”

Bill glanced suspiciously at Holden. “You sure you’re okay? You didn’t hit your head in the car during the accident, did you?”

“No,” Holden answered. “I promise my head never came into contact with anything. I’m amazed actually, the way we were being tossed around. I just need some aspirin and maybe a nap.”

Bill felt uneasy, but Holden seemed okay, despite the headache. And he didn’t have a visible wound on his head. Also, Bill felt the fatigue from a long and annoying day catching up to him.

“All right. Let’s go rent a car and then find one of our typically luxurious motel rooms,” Bill informed Holden.

Holden called for a cab and had the driver take them to the nearest car rental agency. Soon they were driving a nondescript sedan to a two-star motel, where they rented their usual one room with two beds.

Both men dressed down as much as they felt comfortable with and lay back on their individual beds.

“Holden, do you really believe we’ll get anything useful from that piece of shit Rissell?” Bill asked.

Holden was quiet for a moment. “Well, it’s not like I can guarantee it, but he’s certainly interesting. Very different from our previous subjects. He displays a lot more outward anger, and defends his actions as either a pure autonomic response or a perfectly normal reaction to his victims’ actions. He’s very unlike Kemper or Brudos.”

“I’ll agree with that,” Bill said. “But he’s almost even more unbearable because he blames those poor women he raped and killed. Made me so angry, I’m ashamed to admit.”

Holden agreed, “I completely understand. It’s hard to sit there and listen to that.”

“You don’t seem to have such a hard time with it, Holden. I wonder why that is,” Bill said.

“I’m not sure. And I’m also not sure if you just insulted me or not,” Holden said with a half smile. “I am trying to get as much information from these killers as possible, so I try to empathize with them as much as possible, I suppose.”

“Well, don’t get too cozy, that’s all. It’s not worth it,” Bill warned.

“God, those aspirin haven’t worked yet,” Holden said, closing his eyes and rubbing his temples. “I’m going to try to sleep.”  
Bill walked over to Holden’s bed. When Holden opened his eyes, he jumped a bit in surprise, not having heard Bill’s approach.

“Shit, Bill. You scared me. What?” Holden sputtered.

“Come here. Let me feel your head,” Bill said simply.

“That’s not what I expected you to say,” Holden deadpanned.

“Shut up. I just want to make sure you don’t have any bumps or cuts from the accident. This headache has me worried,” Bill said.

“Oh. Okay. Thanks,” Holden answered.

Bill reached out and began examining the right side of Holden’s head, feeling through the soft, thick hair for any damage. When he couldn’t even feel a small bump, he finished and walked back to his bed and lay down.

“No, nothing there. Must just be a headache,” Bill announced.

Holden snorted and said, “Thanks, Bill. I could have told you that. But I appreciate your concern, really.”

“Don’t let it go to your head,” Bill said with a laugh.

Bill turned the TV on and put the volume on low to allow his partner to get some sleep.

“I’ll explain to Wendy about my poor choice of words to Rissell when we get back to the office. I shouldn’t have let him get to me like that. I know better,” Bill said.

When no response came from the other bed, Bill looked over and saw that Holden had fallen asleep very quickly. He peered over at Holden for a minute, but couldn’t quite figure out why he was feeling so worried about the kid. Maybe some lingering guilt about the accident.

Bill continued to watch some old Western on the TV, and with the sound so low, he couldn’t get involved in the story. Before long, he was asleep.

Bill woke suddenly, confused that he had slept at all. He sat up and stretched and then looked over at Holden, who was in exactly the same position he fell asleep in. He glanced at the clock on the nightstand, noting that Holden had been asleep for an hour. Worried that the young man wouldn’t be able to sleep later that night, he decided to wake him up.

He crossed the few feet to Holden’s bed and noticed that Holden was barely moving, was making almost no noise. Bill was used to Holden’s normal quiet sleep sounds, so this seemed odd. He reached over and started shaking Holden’s shoulder.

“Kid, you should wake up. You’re not gonna be able to sleep tonight.”

There was no response still, and Bill began to worry. “Hey, Holden, wake up,” he said with another shake of the man’s shoulder. Still no response. “Holden!” he practically shouted.

Holden was sleeping on his left side, so Bill rolled him over onto his back. Amazingly, Holden still did not rouse. Bill was beginning to freak out, and just as he was reaching out his hand to peel back an eyelid, Holden gasped and opened his eyes.

“Holden. Fuck. I couldn’t wake you for a while. Are you all right?” Bill asked tensely.

Holden was looking past Bill and seemed not quite there. Then he blinked slowly and asked, “Bill? What’s— What’s going on?”

“Are you feeling all right? I was about to call an ambulance. Holden, I think something’s wrong with you,” Bill said with urgency.

Holden sighed and responded, “I’m okay. My head still hurts a bit. I was sleeping really hard, I think.”

“Yeah, no shit,” Bill said. “I thought you were in a coma,” he added with a laugh.

Holden finally started to sit up. “No, no, I’m okay. Just really tired.”

“Okay. Let’s go get some light dinner somewhere. I think I saw a cafe about a mile back. Think you can eat?” Bill asked.  
Holden opened his eyes and squinted a bit. “I’m a bit nauseous, probably from the headache. But I can try to eat something,” he said.

The two men cleaned up a bit and headed out. Holden still seemed a little out of it, so Bill drove.

“Hey, Holden, promise me you’ll let me know if you’re starting to feel worse, okay? You really did scare me back in the room when I couldn’t wake you up,” Bill said. “You’re my responsibility, you know.”

“I’m not really, Bill. But I’ll let you know if I feel any worse,” Holden reassured him.

They sat in comfortable booths in the surprisingly charming cafe, both choosing turkey sandwiches. Bill found himself unexpectedly hungry and soon finished half his sandwich. Noting Holden’s uncharacteristic silence, though honestly enjoying it a bit, he looked at his partner. Holden was staring down at his nearly untouched food.

“Something wrong with your sandwich, Holden?” Bill asked. “You’ve maybe taken one bite.”

“It’s fine. I’m feeling a little queasy, to be honest.” Holden still hadn’t raised his eyes from his plate.

“Still have a headache? Sometimes they can cause nausea,” Bill said, taking another bite.

“Yeah, my head hurts a bit more. Must be why I feel sick to my stomach.” Holden finally looked up at Bill, but there was something odd in his gaze, as if he really wasn’t focusing on Bill.

Bill looked closely at Holden and said, “Okay, you look a bit weird. What’s going on?”

“Weird? I feel kind of weird.” Holden was silent for a while. Just when Bill was going to open his mouth and ask a question, Holden spoke up with, “Bill, I know this might sound strange, but… where are we?”

“Very funny, kid,” Bill answered automatically. When no response came, he looked at Holden, who wasn’t smiling and was again staring down at his plate. “Hey, are you serious? You mean, where are we in terms of our project?”

Holden started looking a bit frightened, which shook Bill up more than anything. “No, Bill, I can’t remember what city we’re in.”

“Holden, we’re in Richmond. We had to stay overnight after the accident. Don’t you remember?” Bill asked urgently.

“Bill, what accident?” Holden asked with an expression of pure fear.

“You don’t remember the car accident?” Bill asked with dread.

“No. Car accident? Today? Is that why my head hurts so much? I think something’s wrong. I can’t see so well through my right eye,” Holden said as he covered his right eye with a shaky hand.

Bill stood. “Okay, that’s enough. I’m taking you to the hospital. Let’s go.” He flagged down a passing waitress and motioned for the bill. “Can you stand?” He asked the young man.

Holden cautiously put his hands on the table and levered himself into a standing position. “I think so. I feel kind of dizzy, but I’m gonna make it.”

Bill quickly handed some bills to the waitress and asked her where the nearest hospital was. Then he moved to Holden’s side. “Let me help you, kid. Something’s definitely the matter with you. We’ll get you fixed up.”

The two made it outside with Holden’s right arm around Bill’s shoulders. The younger man could barely walk straight. Some patrons in the parking lot gave them an evil stare, obviously assuming Holden was intoxicated. Bill gave them a glare right back, when he could afford to divide his attention.

Bill carefully helped Holden into the passenger side and ran to the driver’s side, feeling close to panic. He looked over to Holden and saw the young man close his eyes.


	2. Partners

“Hey, kid. Stay awake. You need to keep your eyes open, okay?” Bill practically yelled at Holden. “Just talk to me.”

“What do you want me… to talk about?” Holden asked, though his eyes remained closed.

“Holden! Open your eyes. I’ll talk and you answer, okay?” Bill kept his eyes on the road, as he sped down the street.

Holden opened his eyes to a slit. “I’ll try, Bill, but I feel so sleepy and dizzy. Opening my eyes makes me feel worse.”

“I’m sorry, kid, but I don’t want you losing consciousness. Listen to me. I’m gonna tell you what I was trying to tell you earlier in the bar. You said you wanted to understand. I’ll try to explain. You hear me?”

“Yeah, Bill. I’m here. I’m listening,” Holden muttered.

Bill took a deep breath and continued, “The reason I was so irritable today was because the situation with my family is getting to me. I love Nancy, and I love Brian, but it’s hard to be at home these days. I have almost no relationship with Brian, and it’s getting to the point where I’m not even trying. Does that make me a bad father?”

Holden turned his head towards Bill and said, “No, Bill. I’m sure it’s not your fault. There might be something wrong with Brian. Or maybe he just needs more time.” Holden’s eyes slid shut again.

“I feel guilty all the time. Nancy looks at me like she thinks I spend so much time in the office and on the road to get away from her and Brian. And frankly, sometimes that’s true. Believe it or not, work is less stressful. Holden?” Bill said.

“Hmm?” Holden murmured.

“I know you can’t remember the accident right now, but when the shock wore off, all I could think about is how badly I’d feel if I was responsible for you getting hurt. I just… care about you, Holden, and I think we’re friends, and I need to make sure you’re going to be okay. Holden?”

“I like you too, Bill. You don’t have to worry about me though. I’ve been taking care of myself for a long time,” Holden said slowly.

“Speaking of, you need me to call Debbie? And maybe your parents?” Bill asked.  
“No!” Holden shouted in a brief moment of alertness. “No,” he continued more calmly. “Don’t, Bill, please. Just you. I don’t want to bother Debbie, and my parents just don’t care. If I die, you can call anyone you want.”

“That’s not funny, kid,” Bill said sternly. “You’re going to be fine.”

Holden continued, “I mean it, Bill. Don’t call anybody. It doesn’t matter. And I’ll be okay. Please promise me not to call my parents or Debbie.”

Bill didn’t respond quickly enough, so Holden added, “Bill, please! Promise.”

“Okay, okay. I promise. But if it’s really serious, I’m gonna use my best judgment,” Bill said. “And keep talking to me. How are you feeling now?”

Holden didn’t answer, so Bill prompted him again. “Holden? Holden!”

“What?” Holden answered almost petulantly.

“Pay attention. What are you feeling now?” Bill asked.

“Hmm. Nauseous, dizzy, sleepy, confused. I’m just tired. I’m gonna take a nap until we get there,” Holden said with his eyes closed again.

“No nap, Holden. Stay awake,” Bill demanded.

After a few seconds Holden said, drowsily, “It’s not your fault, Bill. Don’t worry so much. I’m just sleepy.”

“Kid, wake up,” Bill said loudly.

From his peripheral vision, Bill saw Holden slump gently against the window. “Holden! Stay awake!”

Holden remained silent and unmoving, filling Bill with worry and fear. Fortunately, he saw the hospital entrance about a block down. He pulled into the emergency room entrance and parked just outside the doors.

Using his loudest and most authoritative voice, Bill yelled, “Hey! I need some help!” He didn’t want to leave the unconscious Holden alone in the car. Fortunately, an orderly and a nurse exited the doors, having heard his call for help.

“My partner was involved in a car accident about 3 hours ago. He seemed fine, and I couldn’t see any head injury, but his head hurts and he’s had memory problems and some vision difficulties, and now he seems unconscious,” Bill explained, amazed that he was as clear in his description as he was, because he felt anything but coherent and calm at the moment.

While the doctors were examining Holden, Bill took a smoke break just outside. He paced the area restlessly and drew the noxious fumes deep into his lungs, going over, in his mind, how things got so screwed up. He was totally confused as to what was wrong with Holden. The kid didn’t have a scratch on his head. But he was definitely displaying signs of a head injury. And he remembered his hasty promise to Holden to not call anybody. What the hell kind of relationship did the kid have with his parents?

After a while, a doctor came out to talk to Bill. A middle-aged man with a weary face, he took Bill to his office and sat down with a sigh.

Bill immediately said, “Judging by your expression, this isn’t good news.”

The doctor looked somewhat taken aback and responded, “Oh, I’m sorry. I’ve just had a long, hard day. Please don’t read anything into what my face looks like,” he said with a smile.

“So it’s good news then?” Bill asked hopefully.

“Well, I do think your partner will be okay, but he’s not well right now. We did a CT scan on his head, and what we found is called an epidural hematoma. In an accident like the one you both experienced, the brain can bounce around the skull hard enough that blood vessels can break and bleeding can happen. This puts pressure on the brain itself. As you yourself noted, there was no sign of external injury on Mr. Ford’s head, and this explains that,” the doctor said.

Bill took a deep breath and responded, “That sounds serious.”

“Yes, it is. He’s in a light coma right now. Most doctors would suggest brain surgery to relieve the pressure, but the size of Mr. Ford’s hematoma is small enough that I prefer to take the more conservative path of medications. I’m going to put him on mannitol. It’s a hyperosmotic agent and reduces swelling in the brain.”

“But you said most doctors would do surgery?” Bill asked, concerned.

“Yes, but I also think most doctors are too eager to just go in with a scalpel. Brain surgery is a major procedure and quite dangerous. If Mr. Ford doesn’t improve on the medications, then I may reconsider my plan of action,” the doctor said.

Bill responded, “Okay. You seem to know what you’re doing. I just want him to get better.”

The doctor asked, “Does he have any family we should be notifying?”

Bill looked uncomfortable and answered, “Well, he asked me to promise him that I wouldn’t call his parents. I don’t know why.”

“Well, I’ll leave that up to you then. We’ll set him up in the ICU until he wakes.”

The hospital broke the rules and allowed Bill to sit with Holden in the ICU since he had no family members with him. Bill felt compelled to call Shepherd and Wendy to let them know what happened. Wendy was shocked and worried and offered to come out to Richmond, but Bill explained that all he was doing was sitting and waiting, so having another person there didn’t make much sense.

Holden looked peaceful enough, even though Bill knew a “light coma” was hardly the same thing as sleep. He just looked like he was resting comfortably, despite the monitors, IV and oxygen canula attached to him. Which in itself was disturbing since Holden was normally such a hyper-alert and chatty presence. The silence of the ICU gave too much room for Bill’s own guilty feelings.  


Bill realized guilt and frustration was behind his initial anger and irritation at the beginning of the day. His difficulties with Brian and the constant pressure to be a better father led to him being a less loving husband, he thought. It was just stress coming between him and Nancy, but it was nonstop and causing a distance between them.

When he left that morning, Nancy had tried to coax Brian into hugging Bill good-bye, but the boy simply refused. It was a painful scene and Bill felt hurt by Brian’s behavior and angry at Nancy’s attempt to force a moment of father-son bonding.

Which led to the angry and abbreviated Rissell interview. Which led to driving without paying enough attention. Which led to Holden here in the hospital in a coma, the innocent victim of a particularly ugly domino effect.

Bill sighed and rubbed his face. This self-recrimination was getting him nowhere, but he couldn’t seem to stop it. He could only try to be better, to be more careful, to try harder.

After another night at the motel, Bill was again sitting next to Holden, this time with a book to read. Suddenly Holden began moving a little. Bill pressed the call button and informed the nurse that Holden seemed to be waking up.

He approached the bed, looking closely at Holden’s face. The young man’s eyelids were fluttering and then he opened his eyes.

“Holden. Are you awake?” Bill asked a little stupidly. “I mean, can you hear me? Are you all right?”

Slowly, Holden’s eyes shifted to Bill and he said quietly, “Bill? What’s going on?”

Bill laughed with relief and answered, “Kid, you’re in the hospital. Seems you hurt your head without even hitting it. But luckily that thick skull of yours saved you.”

Holden smiled, but looked confused. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Bill, but I’m glad you’re happy about it.”

Bill laughed even harder. “Just know that you’re going to be okay. And also… I’m sorry about getting us in the accident. I was letting everything get to me, and I let it endanger you, and that wasn’t right. I do feel a responsibility towards you, or maybe just protective. And it’s because you’re my friend. So, I hope you forgive me.”

Holden looked at Bill, visibly moved, though still a bit confused. “Bill, I feel the same way towards you. We’re partners, right? I know I drive you crazy sometimes, but I can’t seem to help it. And accidents happen. It’s really not your fault. But if it helps any, I do forgive you.”

And for once, Holden knew exactly the right thing to say.


End file.
